One of life’s necessary items to survive, water is available everywhere, at any time and in countless forms—many of which tend to differ from one another.
As a self-proclaimed water connoisseur, here is my analysis of every water brand that I have ever had, going from the worst group to the best. While many cannot pick apart differences between brands, I tend to notice a distinct taste difference depending on the type, and that will be evident in these rankings.
SPARKLING
Starting off, the worst of the bunch are all types of sparkling water, which have been granted their own tier to fully express my hatred for this adaptation of water. I prefer still to that of sparkling, and there is yet to be a type of unflavored carbonated water that I can desirably delve into. For now, the main trio of sparkling waters, Perrier, San Pellegrino and La Croix, will all sit in the bottom.
TOILET BOWL
Just above the sparkling water is a group of brands that may be better off serving as toilet water than for drinking. The very worst of this group is Core, which has a distinctly odd taste that I have never been a fan of. Above it sits Aquafina, which for being such a big-name player, really has struggled over the past few years, falling into a lot of criticism along with Dasani for allegedly making consumers thirstier instead of quenching said thirst. Ice Mountain is an extremely mediocre brand that slides into the spot above Aquafina and below Dasani, who comes in at 29 out of the 35 types I chose to rank. Boon, an uncommon type that I had just once years ago, takes the 28th spot before we get to a variation of Dasani—canned Dasani. Something about that aluminum gives the water a slightly improved quality that elevates it, but not too far, as brands Swiss Premium (26), PurAqua purified (25) and Ethos (24) round out the Toilet Bowl category.
SUBPAR
Moving along, the 23rd best water on this list is Liquid Death, a younger star still in the earlier stages of its career. Tending to find more success in the flavored sparkling water league, Death has struggled to catch on amongst other still waters but still is a decent taste, but nothing to write home about. This is shown in its ranking below Essentia (22) which is a brand that I find to be one of the most overrated of the 21st century. Finding the spotlight just over five years ago, it is another newer brand that soon found traction amongst the public, but I just do not find it to be an incredible flavor of minerals, thus its 22nd placement. Above it are fairly similar brands in Crystal Geyser (21), Good&Gather (19), Kirkland (18) and Poland Spring (17). Filling the 20 spot is actually the final variation of Dasani that will make a cameo, with that being the international Dasani, or Dasani sin gas. This is easily the best form of the company’s creation and as a result has become increasingly popular throughout Latin America.
MID
Now entering the most average of brands, we will see the biggest variety in types here in the “mid” tier. Kicking things off at 16th is Path, who have made a splash in supermarkets with new limited edition bottles that feature characters from the children’s show “Spongebob Squarepants.” While I wanted to absolutely love Path, it simply is not amazing, and is the definition of the word “mid.” Following it at 15th is Member’s Mark and then PurAqua spring water, which has a much better, natural taste to it than that of its purified counterpart. Acadia, usually supplied at Giant, falls into slot 13, with Smart Water just ahead at 12th. Much like Essentia, I find Smart to be extremely overrated, with many declaring it to be top five or better. I do not think that even Smart itself buys that hype, and for me it sits outside the top ten. Also missing out on the window of the upper ten is Nestle Pure Life, which is quietly a very solid water that deserves some respect as a consistent bargain. Now, as the tenth best water I have had, Life. I am not incredibly high on it, as much like Smart it gets the recognition as if it is one of the better waters, but it is quite solid. As much as I would like to have it lower, “Life is good,” and its use of the bigger, 23.6 ounce bottle is appealing. Trader Joe’s spring (9) and Deer Park (8) follow Life before getting to the final two brands of the category—Mountain Valley Spring and Acqua Panna. Two very similar waters that come in glass bottles, not only are they environmentally friendly but they have very smooth tastes, making for a very complete all around performance from the two. I have had Acqua Panna more often so it just sits above Mtn. Valley at sixth and, despite the category being labeled “mid,” these two are nothing close to average, but just missed the cut on my next tier.
ABOVE AVERAGE
Beginning my top five is one of the biggest water prospects of all time, Fiji. Ever since its appearance in the early 2000s, this brand has been constantly depicted as a fancy water that costs a lot of money, when, in reality, this narrative is completely wrong. Price-wise, Fiji is not that ridiculously expensive, especially when compared with some of the other higher-end waters that I have mentioned in this list. Its taste is immaculate, and surely could be seen as a classy water, but I still do think that there are brands that beat it, though it is surely a staple in the top five. Next on the list is Voss, which I would argue, to the point about Fiji, is the true definition of “fancy” water. Voss’ minimalist design, clean bottles and slightly more expensive price make it the ultimate water for those passionate about their types of beverage. Despite that price tag and aura, Voss does not miss in terms of taste and is well deserving of being placed fourth. Finally, the last brand in the “above average” tier is Flow, another newcomer. I was first introduced to Flow in 2022, and it was a phenomenal decision. It has such a delightful, crisp taste, with a good bit of minerals and electrolytes successfully incorporated to add to the flavor and hydrating properties of the water. Its cardboard bottles are environmentally friendly which takes Flow to an overall incredible rating. It will be given the bronze medal, but Flow is definitely a deserving member of the top three and could one day push for a top two finish, especially if it becomes more available and widespread.
3AM Water
It is the middle of the night, and you are absolutely parched when you wake up. Any water would taste incredible at this moment, but there are two brands that can recreate this satisfying feeling of thirst-quenching at any given time. Icelandic Glacial, straight from the glaciers of the land of fire and ice, is second. First exposed to this brand in my 2016 vacation to Iceland, it instantly became one of my all-time favorite beverages. Its packaging is unique and creative and its taste does not falter. Between its fresh, hydrating taste and its overall presentation, it is a top two water I have ever tasted, but sits just short of my number one—Evian. From the French alps, nothing will beat my beloved Evian in terms of taste, accessibility and price. Anywhere I travel I can get my hands on a cold Evian and for a fairly affordable price. I simply cannot put into words how good Evian tastes, and if I could only drink one water brand for the rest of my life, it would surely be Evian. Nothing hinders its success and longevity, as I see this brand continuing to be regarded as one of the world’s best for a while. Today, and always, it receives my gold medal. If one wants to feel that sensation of quenching a strong thirst in the middle of the night, there is nothing better than to have a sip of an ice cold Evian.
